Emotional detachment

I've had enough.

Pre-exam motivation/early birthday present

Exams are coming up and argh, I have 0-motivation/urgency in me to study. Half of my conscience tells me that I should stop being a lazy arse and study, and the other is telling me to relax cause I'll survive. Well, I know I'll survive with a 'Pass' at the very least, but I would very much like to get my 'HD' otherwise my little asian brain will scream 'asian fail' at myself.

On a side note, look what came in the mail today ^^

Thank you mum! :)

D:

Was walking to uni a couple of weeks ago and my Crumpler messenger bag suddenly made this loud snap noise. To my surprise horror, part of the shoulder strap thread snapped and that was a clear sign that the bag was gonna go in no time :( so I looked up a few laptop bag replacements online and voila!

Incase Terra Campus Denim Pack

Reputable brand, quality, design and practicality won me over :P

I was gonna click add to shopping cart until I realised that thing is probably worth more than me now!! 

Apart from me being a poor kid, heck I never knew bags like these were that expensive! Probs cause' I've never bought any and I only ever used bags I already have or was given.

Oh well. Perhaps next year after I've earned enough :) but for now... *drool

Sound 2.0

Sold my old headphones and managed to get something that I actually like this time :)
Good earphones are still way too expensive for me, so cheaper (but better) headphones are the way to go for now!

Achievement GET

28th August 2012 - Got my Ps.

1st September 2012 - Passed citizenship test.

Thank God :)

Reunion and a new semester

July 2012:

• South Australia
• 120 hours on the road
• Snow trip with the MW crew
• Reunion with my good ol' schoolmates from Malaysia
• Start of uni

August 2012:

• Attend a wedding reception
• Hillsong Melbourne opening

Cold winter. Cold heart.

Holidays have started about a week ago now, and I've been doing the usual. Spending time with my loved ones, chilling with friends, work, doing some extra studies (a side course I picked up - a cert IV in business admin) and etc. Didn't like the busy holidays I have, but I suppose its more fruitful than doing nothing. Going to SA for family trip soon, so that's something to look forward to ^^

It's probably the 100th time already today, that these thoughts are going through my head. The hurt that goes unseen, I wonder if you see it? Probably not.

The stretch

It's a bit late, but I finally decided to join catch of the day, and what do you know, at that very moment, they had a massive sale and there were heaps of earphones and headphones that were going for more than 50% off :D I've never bought any audio products in my life, so I was initially quite hesitant to buy one. However, considering that my previous earphones died and that I've been using some crappy earphones (that I got as a freebie from uni open days) for 3 months now, I thought it was about time to get a somewhat slightly more normal quality earphones. I ultimately came down to 2 options, the Lady Gaga Heartbeats by Monster ($60) or The Stretch by Philips, O'Neil ($40). I never really liked or had headphones cause they are hard to store, so I was initially keen on the Lady Gaga Heartbeats. But after reading some reviews, I saw that the Heartbeats are somewhat entry level earphones for audiophiles but it's sound quality is subpar for its price. So I settled with the The Stretch instead which was cheaper :) I figured that if I were to get good earphones, I'd rather pay a little more to get something that I like that is good and worth its price, instead of jumping at the cheaper ones on sale, that may not be as good. So here we are with my very first pair of headphones :)

The bundle of joy I got from the postman

:)

Last day of semester one

Journeyed halfway through the year with much joy and pain. Exams are just around the corner, and I finally get some time to make up for lost ground. Can't wait for the holidays :)

"Still waiting, waiting... waiting for the world to change"

Just like that.. I'm still waiting for things to change...

Weekend

Week 8 of uni is almost over and I've managed to tick the following in my list.
- 2 mid semester tests
- Maths assignment
- Weekly chemistry lab report
- Catch up (mostly) with subjects that I'm behind in

A few more weeks of this first semester of uni is left, and apart from the bleakness of things, there are a few things that I do look forward to :)
- Building more circuitry
- Finishing off the last 3 lab and lab reports in the coming weeks
- Building a trebuchet

Apart from the brief update about what I have and yet to accomplish, here's a tiny update about the past week. On Sunday, I've had the pleasure of catching up with church friends over lunch at a Malaysian restaurant (it was pretty close to the real thing :P), before going off to bake a cake and a cookie cake to celebrate a church friend's birthday at Sofia's :) Took the opportunity on Anzac Day on Wednesday to watch The Avengers with my girlfriend since it was released that very day :) finally, after so many years of anticipation and waiting, it's finally here and I'm thoroughly content :3 After that we went to catch up with the Mount group over churros, chocolate and chocolate drinks at San Churro. Kinda felt tired from the movie so I think I was a bit quiet at that time, but nevertheless it was great to sit back and chill with the group :)

After 12pm tomorrow, I am free! For about 50 hours anyway. And then it's back to the same cycle of the drowning in my studies before the next weekend is here. But oh well, I'm getting used to it :)

For now, yay! As the weekend is here :)

Highlights of the month

- Starting uni life

- Realising that uni life isn't "THE life"

- Having the urge to kill those who told me how good uni life was (stares at arts and commerce kids)

- Feeling intimidated to restart my social life and meet new people

- Meeting new people and realising that the opportunities that lie ahead are limitless

- Meeting deadlines in uni

- Meeting up with old school friends from Malaysia

- Finding out that one of my old school friends has 2 of my subjects

- Falling behind in uni studies

- Catching up in uni studies

- Meeting up with the Mount Waverley group

- Keeping up my part time job amidst all of that

- Racking up my sleep debt

- Going out with my lovely girlfriend

- Nodding off in lectures when I thought I could pay attention with my eyes closed

- Playing in the church band and establishing the musical standard for the church

- Looking forward to the one week break

- Feeling refreshed whenever I see something like this:

Absolutes

Something struck me as I was evaluating my beliefs. Specifically - my beliefs in absolutes and the grey area.

I believe that some things are absolute; things that are clearly defined right or wrong. Things that are black and white. Things like the law, knowledge and facts and etc are one of these absolute things.
However, I believe that there is a grey area between the absolute right and wrong. With this area, there are many chances that things may go wrong with errors occurring. This is because everything that lies between, is subjective and debatable. Things like values, beliefs and etc lie in the gray area.

There are pros and cons to each i.e. being absolute and being in the grey area.

For the absolute...

• If we think about it, if everything in the grey area was made absolute, there would be peace in the world. Because everyone would be united in a set of values, and there will be no qualms to whatever issue because things are clearly cut out by the "higher" authority - the absolutes. E.g. countries wouldn't be strangling each others' necks, arguments would only last for less than a minute, bias and prejudice from personal opinions wouldn't exist, and people won't be harmed by subjectiveness.
• However, this being said, this leaves no room for individuality - the human factor. The personal opinions and feelings of the individual is disregarded and he must abide in the absolute system, choosing either to be right, or wrong. In a sense, they're "forced" to do right because most people want to do the right thing. Either do that, or be regarded as a wrong-doer, whose emotions and beliefs are left unheard.

For the grey area...

• It prevents us from living under a plain and uniform society. Sure, it's awesome if society is united, but it doesn't feel "right" if we all had to conform one thing. Individuality roams free in this area. We can speak our opinions, voice our emotions, fight for what we belief is "right".
• Unfortunately, this leaves room for error. Everyone will have their differences and conflict will definitely ensue. It is then hard to resolve things because there is no higher authority to settle things cleanly and clearly. Since nothing is set in black or white, everyone will fight for what they believe is right. Everyone is out there for himself, and it's likely that their mindset is self-centred. The error in this area is existence of selfishness in humans - "How I think and what I think is right. I can do what I want and however I want to. It's about me and about how I want to be heard."

So is right to be absolute?
Doesn't it give us the assurance having no error in society? Won't it benefit us since it eliminates the imperfection in the human factor in the world? Wouldn't it prevent prejudice that is presented by the perspectives of emotional humans? Wouldn't the world be a fair place?

Or is it too strict and emotionally detached, leaving no room for individuality? What about emotions? Aren't we made to feel and express emotions freely instead of restricting it? Is it wrong to think about ourselves?

I believe that being absolute would be the way to go for unity and peace all around, but having said that it really depends why, who and how the absolutes are defined. Because everyone is different, there will be a group of people who will not fit into either the category of right and wrong. The personal input is ignored and they're forced to put aside their feelings and individuality. If God defined the absolutes in every single detail in the world today, there would be no qualms at all, because He is the higher authority and perfect in judgement. But since it's humans we're dealing with, our definition of things in the world can be flawed.

So where do we draw the line? How do we draw the line? Would it be better to adopt an absolute belief in somethings whilst allowing a certain margin for individuality? If so, how much? What will the margin of error be? Ultimately, because we are human and what we do cannot appease everyone, we're stuck with this eternal problem, a conflict between the two beliefs. We can only do our best to minimise the damage by finding the "balance" between the two.

Rye

In the event I should ever forget, here I am penning every detail that I can remember from the past 8 days of my life. Details that I never want to forget.

Sadly, I didn't bring my camera with me so it'll just be a long detailed report-style recount :) Perhaps I'll add photos after scouting them from the group members' fb photos.

We've planned it around September last year and though things were sketchy back then, it materialised into a fine trip. The location was Rye, the people amounted to 14 of us and we had a very homey house to stay in.

Day 1 (Sunday) - Gathering at the designated houses, we left in groups with some of our courteous parents who were willing to drive us to Rye. Upon arriving, we chilled, checked out the place, checked out the shops nearby, ate Subway for lunch, shopped for groceries and had BBQ for dinner. Also, Judith introduced us to this very amusing and fun game called Bang!. Whilst some of us were drinking, me and a few others watched the movie Limitless to pass the time :) 

Day 2 (Monday) - For some reason, PEOPLE WOKE UP AROUND FREAKIN 5-6AM D: and everyone kinda woke up due to the noise level in the living room. It was a good thing I suppose, since we got and early start. Went for a morning walk and Jess's iTouch became roadkill. The earphones died but we were surprised it survived with just a cracked screen. It was still functional :P Went to the beach which was literally 3 minutes away from the house and had fun :) since it was really hot and sunny, I bought a beach tent and we set that up :) the beach at Rye had shallow waters and the sand was really nice and fine, but the water was freezinggggg D: played board games like Taboo and Pictionary and some console games like Mario Kart and Brawl on Wii. Had Viet rice paper rolls that night for dinner, and it was absolutely fabulous :) kudos to Joey and her team :) Oh and we boiled the pipis that we caught earlier at the beach... which we later discovered on Thursday that it was illegal :/ ANYWAY, later that night we went to the beach and played with sparklers, where caf and co. presented us with a lovely sparkling show :) all I remember during that moment was the tall tower of light and Caf chanting "hum liki liki" in the background :P it never fails to put a smile on my face whenever I think of that. Back at the house, it was around this time when I noticed that Judith started making a little diary entry for the whole group :) 

Day 3 (Tuesday) - We went to Sorrento and checked out the shops. There was a really cool antique shop that kept us amused for like 30 mins. Went to the beach and waded around the waters for a bit. It had the water temperature was perfect BUT the there were heaps of shells everywhere, the sand was courser and there were more seaweeds :/ Had several group shots there and we hung around the pier :) so Jess was educating me about how the vanilla slice originated from Sorrento and that we should drop by for a visit, but we were too late and the cafe was closed :( oh well, we decided to drop by the next time we were there anyway :) Back at the house, we had Japanese curry and miso soup for dinner. Kudos to Wilson and co. for cooking that ^^ went stargazing at the beach after dinner and people were singing and chatting loudly LOL. As an escape, I took a walk with Eddy along the beach and was amused with his camera :3

Day 4 (Wednesday) - As we feared that we'd end up doing nothing, since Monday, we planned to go to Portsea on the sunniest day :) and we did. We woke up earlier than usual to catch a bus there, and the place was lovely with nice sand but slightly deeper waters. IT WAS COLD as well D: by that day we kinda gave up on finding the perfect beach :P but oh well. It was good :) a few of us bought a bucket, made an awesome turtle with sand, and named it Battle Jo :P it was epic. Then Jess, Wilson and Caf buried me and made me look like some hindu god with 6 arms.. rofl. Had fish and chips for lunch and that wasn't enough lol. Some of us headed back to the house whilst the rest of us went to Sorrento for a second time :) whilst the others headed down to the beach, Jess took me to the vanilla slice place and it was pretty good :) we ordered one slice but we got another on the house :D I couldn't finish it though so we took it away with the full intention of sharing it with the others, but as we got the fish and chips for them as well, we kinda left it at the counter of the fish and chips store ==" oh well, at least we did a good deed by giving free food to the fish and chips shop :P we later joined the rest at the beach and swam around for a bit. Went back to the house and Joey's team prepared us some roast :) whilst the others played drinking games and stuff, I accompanied those of us who abstained.

Day 5 (Thursday) - It was a relatively chill day where some of us stayed at the house whilst the others went to Frankston to roam and play pool and stuff. For those of us who stayed back, we chilled at home watching shows and console gaming. Went to the beach with Jess, Judith, Heiman and Chooi-ee in the arvo and that's when some dude came up to us and lectured us about how collecting pipis were illegal ._. we returned to the house to prepare dinner - Mexican food :) we had nachos, burritos and potato salad :P it was a slight overkill and we made a little too much :3 The rest of us watched The Sound of Music and to our delight we had a wonderful male vocalist in our midst ;) you know who you are!! :P

Day 6 (Friday) - We went to Frankston to see this sand sculpture exhibit. It was pretty darn cool since the art was really fine and detailed. Travelling there by bus took us over an hour so it was pretty late when we got back. Wilson's group prepared pasta for us that night and we watched this epic tv series called Sherlock :)  after that, some of us continue watching movies, having dnm sessions on the trampoline outside, whilst me, Jess, Joey and Heiman went stargazing at the beach. We kinda gave Joey and Heiman their space for obvious reasons haha and they also wanted to stay till sunrise :P so me and Jess ended up spotting shootings stars and we managed to see about 5-6 stars :) I never once believed that I'd ever come across one, yet alone 5-6 but heck it was amazing :) some dim ones lasted for half a second whilst a couple of them were really bright and lasted over a second.

Day 7 (Saturday) - It was the last full day we had and we decided to spend it at Rye :) some of us went to the $2 shop to get stuff whilst the rest of us went to the beach first. We spent time collecting seashells, playing around, skipping rocks, looking for warm spots in the sea and etc. Oh, I think Eddy and co. found a starfish which was cool but they returned it to the sea after :/ it was my group's turn to prepare dinner again so we made sushi :D it was a massive sushi tower and it was yum :) we also finished the remaining miso paste by making miso soup for supper. Some of us watched the 2 Broke Girls whilst me, Wyn, Sannie, Jess, Eddie and Damo went stargazing after we inspired them about how we saw shooting stars the day before :P sadly, it was cloudy and overcast so we didn't see any shooting stars. Damo and Ed went for a walk to the pier whilst the rest of us stayed behind waiting for the skies to clear up. The skies did slowly clear up and we managed to see some stars nevertheless :) upon going back, I hit the sack earlier than the rest only to be woken up by others (namely Selina and Ed) who crashed the room showing their creepy eyeliner make up, which was pretty cool upon closer inspection.

Day 8 (Sunday) - We woke up early to pack, clean and tidy the place up. Felt sad as we packed and left the place. As some of our parents were going to come pick us up a few of us stayed behind with some luggage, whilst the rest took public transport home i.e. me, Damo, Sannie, Joey, Hei, Ho, Jess, Chooi-ee and Selina. Jammed on the guitars on the way back in the train and my lovely friends were so generous when we busked :P managed to get just about 55 cents for a soft serve ice cream ^^ but the money was returned haha.

Well, apart from the mass text above, I must say the past 8 days have been amazing. I enjoyed every moment spent with everyone. Be it happy, sad, crazy or sentimental, I will thoroughly miss it. The schoolies trip was fun and also a rather educational one, where we got to learn more about each other through living together. It was amazing to watch how we could function as a large family for so many days, cleaning and cooking, organising activities to do to keep us busy and having daily family dinners every night. It was the most homey and warm experience I've ever felt :) you guys have made this whole trip a wonderful experience. For what seems like just an ordinary trip, to me it was the most apt closure to the high school life we all enjoyed over the years. Funny how we thought VCE was a big step but what lies ahead of us is bigger. Our uni life will be the next step that we will take and starting afresh, each of us will eventually go our own way. Though this happens, I hope and wish with all my heart - though it may seem silly of me to say this - that we will remain as close as ever as a family no matter how much time may pass. You guys are invaluable to me and the moments that we have shared and enjoyed together I shall forever remember. I love you all and I will deeply miss all of you and the fun and carefree moments that we used to have. Do keep in touch and I wish you all the best and God bless you all in the many years ahead of us :)

Teardrops in the sky

It was a memorable day, like any other. The clock ticked by. The sun shifted. And I realise this - many days have passed and though I saw it coming from long ago, it was all too late before I could realise it. The feeling hit me deep and I wasn't prepared for it.

My heart aches when the thought of you departing from this place comes to mind. I'll miss you. I'll cherish and always remember those times we've had together during those years :) thank you for all the times,  thank you for being such a positive impact in my life, thank you for being an awesome brother in christ and thank you for being such a great bro to me :) do take care, and I wish you the best from the bottom of my heart. God bless you and keep you now and always.

"Please remember me forever, okay?"

Days that felt like seconds.

Just came back from Malaysia 2 days ago and it was good trip like any other :) mass shopped for clothes for uni and caught up with most of my friends :) I'm glad we're still as close as before and that we still do keep in touch. The food was awesome and the weather was fairly good this time around. In the duration of one month, I visited Singapore, Hong Kong and Bali as well :D they were great trips, although I doubt I'll be going back to Singapore anymore if Hong Kong was a choice :P Bali was tranquil as usual, however since it was a family trip where a total of 18 of us went, it was somewhat more tiring than the previous trips ._. oh well. I still had fun playing with all my cuzzies who are in primary school :) That one month zipped past me so quickly before I knew it.

So here I am back since the 1st of Feb, and I've been busy since. My girlfriend kept me busy for 2 days and I went for Wynne's birthday lunch today :) it was great to catch up and reconnect again after such a long period :D sometime during the party, I confirmed that I managed to get into the course that I wanted to i.e. a single degree in Engineering instead of a double degree in Engineering & Science. There were many complications before when I applied but I worked it out eventually :)

In the coming months, I'll be occupied with the following:

Spiritual walk. University and work. Family and friends. Relationship.

It doesn't seem like much, but there's so much to do, but I'll make the most of the limited time I have, do what needs to be done and soldier on like always.

New Year

"So this is the new year, and I don't feel any different."

The fact that it's already 2012 reminds me how much time has already elapsed, and there's no going back.
A new year. The end of the road remains unclear. My heart is dry, my mind weary, my soul wounded. Time to get myself together for the long road ahead.

2012. A year of change. A year to make loose ends meet. A year of restoration.