Time to step up my game.
Saturday 18 September 2010
Wednesday 8 September 2010
"If only..."
Often times I stop to ponder about things. I often ponder about very deep things that people tend to pass off as something too confusing, depressing, pessimistic, unsuitable for our age, unsuitable for our circumstances and etcetera. Little do people understand why I do continue to ponder about these things, even though they often are depressing.
Ever come across a situation where you wished "If only I had realised something sooner"?
Here's a modified example of what I pondered over.. when I was only 15.
Don't want to pop anyone's bubble out there, but here's something to think about. High school ends for those of you in M'sia in a few months time. High school ends for those of you in Melbourne in about a year.
After all this while, you've definitely made friends. Friends ranging from the "hi-bye" friends, normal friends, good friends and best friends. The thing is, after high school, everyone goes their own way and you'll won't be as close to them anymore.
One might say that it is possible to keep in touch via Facebook, Hotmail, MSN, meeting up and etc. To be honest, that statement does not prove false. I have been keeping in touch with some of my friends in M'sia. However, the numbers are few.
Realistically, the chances of you keeping in touch with your good friends are low. Only the best friends would put in the effort to keep in touch with you. Even so, some best friends wouldn't even do it.
This brings about 2 questions:
1. "Why won't they keep in touch with me?"
2. "Who would?"
1. Once you've all parted and started a new life in uni/further education, you'll make new friends. Your interests change. Your priorities change. And a whole lot of other things change. When you meet again, you will never be the same again and so will they. Of course there are exceptions e.g. when you become room-mates. But apart from them, what about everyone else you used to know?
2. The answer lies in the kind of friends you make. What kind of friends are there? There is a long list of them, but I'll just highlight the few of them that are applicable to us adolescents:
a. The kind that seeks for companionship based on the things that they commonly do together. e.g. There's always a group of people who commonly associate themselves with games. Most of the time, apart from games, they share nothing else. This kind of relationship is shallow. Once their games are removed, they have nothing much to relate to each other about.
b. The kind that seeks the relationship casually. Most of the time, they do so for assurance and a peace of heart that you're not alone i.e. They don't want to feel left out. They often only talk only about trivial things, joke around, hang out with friends and etc, with the mindset of simplicity. They never delve into the relationship to form closer relationships; they refrain from doing so. On a side note, these people are often manipulated by peer pressure.
c. The kind where you seek the relationship because he/she wants to genuinely get to know that person and develop a healthy, mutual friendship. They would do all the following activities with one another, but with a different mindset. Ups and downs would be faced together, advice would be given not to please the person but for the benefit of the other even though it's bad and etc.
Obviously, type c would be the only one to reciprocate the effort you put in to keep in touch. The first and second one would just find new companions to assure themselves.
Sadly, the number of people who are from type c are very few. This is because, nobody thinks carefully about the kinds relationships they should make in high school. Ultimately, those ignorant of these facts will realise that their high school years weren't as meaningful because they never developed such a friendship. So I pose a question to you all today: "Will any of your friends keep in touch with you after you've all parted? If so, who?"
Crunch the numbers. It's pessimistic. It's tragic. It's depressing. It's real. Reality bites. Less than 1% of the adolescent population have ever come to this realisation at an early stage to do something about it.. Would you make a difference?
Ever come across a situation where you wished "If only I had realised something sooner"?
Here's a modified example of what I pondered over.. when I was only 15.
Don't want to pop anyone's bubble out there, but here's something to think about. High school ends for those of you in M'sia in a few months time. High school ends for those of you in Melbourne in about a year.
After all this while, you've definitely made friends. Friends ranging from the "hi-bye" friends, normal friends, good friends and best friends. The thing is, after high school, everyone goes their own way and you'll won't be as close to them anymore.
One might say that it is possible to keep in touch via Facebook, Hotmail, MSN, meeting up and etc. To be honest, that statement does not prove false. I have been keeping in touch with some of my friends in M'sia. However, the numbers are few.
Realistically, the chances of you keeping in touch with your good friends are low. Only the best friends would put in the effort to keep in touch with you. Even so, some best friends wouldn't even do it.
This brings about 2 questions:
1. "Why won't they keep in touch with me?"
2. "Who would?"
1. Once you've all parted and started a new life in uni/further education, you'll make new friends. Your interests change. Your priorities change. And a whole lot of other things change. When you meet again, you will never be the same again and so will they. Of course there are exceptions e.g. when you become room-mates. But apart from them, what about everyone else you used to know?
2. The answer lies in the kind of friends you make. What kind of friends are there? There is a long list of them, but I'll just highlight the few of them that are applicable to us adolescents:
a. The kind that seeks for companionship based on the things that they commonly do together. e.g. There's always a group of people who commonly associate themselves with games. Most of the time, apart from games, they share nothing else. This kind of relationship is shallow. Once their games are removed, they have nothing much to relate to each other about.
b. The kind that seeks the relationship casually. Most of the time, they do so for assurance and a peace of heart that you're not alone i.e. They don't want to feel left out. They often only talk only about trivial things, joke around, hang out with friends and etc, with the mindset of simplicity. They never delve into the relationship to form closer relationships; they refrain from doing so. On a side note, these people are often manipulated by peer pressure.
c. The kind where you seek the relationship because he/she wants to genuinely get to know that person and develop a healthy, mutual friendship. They would do all the following activities with one another, but with a different mindset. Ups and downs would be faced together, advice would be given not to please the person but for the benefit of the other even though it's bad and etc.
Obviously, type c would be the only one to reciprocate the effort you put in to keep in touch. The first and second one would just find new companions to assure themselves.
Sadly, the number of people who are from type c are very few. This is because, nobody thinks carefully about the kinds relationships they should make in high school. Ultimately, those ignorant of these facts will realise that their high school years weren't as meaningful because they never developed such a friendship. So I pose a question to you all today: "Will any of your friends keep in touch with you after you've all parted? If so, who?"
Crunch the numbers. It's pessimistic. It's tragic. It's depressing. It's real. Reality bites. Less than 1% of the adolescent population have ever come to this realisation at an early stage to do something about it.. Would you make a difference?
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