"When you are in the popular crowd you are more likely to be conformist, you are more likely to hide aspects of your identity in order to fit into the crowd, you are more likely to be involved in relational aggression, you are more likely to have goals of social dominance rather than forming actual true friendships. You are more likely to let other people pressure you into doing things. None of those things is admirable or useful as adults."
Read an article somewhere and I found this piece interesting. Speaking within the context of individuals in a social group context, it's clear that there are 3 types of individuals:
- The influential
- The influenced
- The neutral
Those who suppress others by using the social standards are the worst. They have a grotesque image of a dictator whose desire is to be at the top of the food chain. Yes. These influential people have a weak identity. Couple that with an immature, ignorant and shallow mind, and you get the aggressive leaders in the pack. Yes. Regardless whether they realise it or not, they are the ones responsible for enforcing the social/peer pressures that exist in society today. It is said: "Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch." That's the reality of peer pressure today.
These people are nothing other than weak-willed individuals who cannot fend for their own identity, thriving on the sense of belonging that they gain from enforcing their ideals on their 'friends'. And the friendships built around them? They're shallow. "...you are more likely to have goals of social dominance rather than forming actual true friendships." Can you really call them your "best-friends"? These are your so-called-friends who will lose touch with you when you no longer have any common grounds (school, uni, etc) with them. Of course, there are exceptions. However, you and I know the numbers are few. Very few.
In the case of those who are influenced, conformity only results in the lost of identity. Conforming to the expectations of the world only shows how weak your sense of identity is. Why does that imply your identity is weak?
"I want to fit in"
"I want to belong"
"I need to do... to fit in"
Do you feel that way? Are you afraid of being left out? Will you sacrifice part of your identity for the sake of belonging?
Isolate that kid from his/her group and you'll notice how weak that person's identity is. How that identity evaporates outside their social group. How shallow his/her friendships are.
What of the neutral then? They are those who have a strong sense of identity which does not falter and remains constant through time. They do not compel others to conform to their ways, rather, they respect other's individuality. They're also not affected by the social norms and often suffer persecution by the influential people and their underlings, the influenced, who blindly follow their dictators' whims. Despite so, these are the people who gain true and invaluable friendships. And believe it or not, they are often the more successful people in life, because they believe in their own virtues.
So who are you? Are you an ignorant dictator? Are you a conformist with a brittle identity? Are you an individual with individuality?
What is your identity?
