Absolutes

Something struck me as I was evaluating my beliefs. Specifically - my beliefs in absolutes and the grey area.

I believe that some things are absolute; things that are clearly defined right or wrong. Things that are black and white. Things like the law, knowledge and facts and etc are one of these absolute things.
However, I believe that there is a grey area between the absolute right and wrong. With this area, there are many chances that things may go wrong with errors occurring. This is because everything that lies between, is subjective and debatable. Things like values, beliefs and etc lie in the gray area.

There are pros and cons to each i.e. being absolute and being in the grey area.

For the absolute...

• If we think about it, if everything in the grey area was made absolute, there would be peace in the world. Because everyone would be united in a set of values, and there will be no qualms to whatever issue because things are clearly cut out by the "higher" authority - the absolutes. E.g. countries wouldn't be strangling each others' necks, arguments would only last for less than a minute, bias and prejudice from personal opinions wouldn't exist, and people won't be harmed by subjectiveness.
• However, this being said, this leaves no room for individuality - the human factor. The personal opinions and feelings of the individual is disregarded and he must abide in the absolute system, choosing either to be right, or wrong. In a sense, they're "forced" to do right because most people want to do the right thing. Either do that, or be regarded as a wrong-doer, whose emotions and beliefs are left unheard.

For the grey area...

• It prevents us from living under a plain and uniform society. Sure, it's awesome if society is united, but it doesn't feel "right" if we all had to conform one thing. Individuality roams free in this area. We can speak our opinions, voice our emotions, fight for what we belief is "right".
• Unfortunately, this leaves room for error. Everyone will have their differences and conflict will definitely ensue. It is then hard to resolve things because there is no higher authority to settle things cleanly and clearly. Since nothing is set in black or white, everyone will fight for what they believe is right. Everyone is out there for himself, and it's likely that their mindset is self-centred. The error in this area is existence of selfishness in humans - "How I think and what I think is right. I can do what I want and however I want to. It's about me and about how I want to be heard."

So is right to be absolute?
Doesn't it give us the assurance having no error in society? Won't it benefit us since it eliminates the imperfection in the human factor in the world? Wouldn't it prevent prejudice that is presented by the perspectives of emotional humans? Wouldn't the world be a fair place?

Or is it too strict and emotionally detached, leaving no room for individuality? What about emotions? Aren't we made to feel and express emotions freely instead of restricting it? Is it wrong to think about ourselves?

I believe that being absolute would be the way to go for unity and peace all around, but having said that it really depends why, who and how the absolutes are defined. Because everyone is different, there will be a group of people who will not fit into either the category of right and wrong. The personal input is ignored and they're forced to put aside their feelings and individuality. If God defined the absolutes in every single detail in the world today, there would be no qualms at all, because He is the higher authority and perfect in judgement. But since it's humans we're dealing with, our definition of things in the world can be flawed.

So where do we draw the line? How do we draw the line? Would it be better to adopt an absolute belief in somethings whilst allowing a certain margin for individuality? If so, how much? What will the margin of error be? Ultimately, because we are human and what we do cannot appease everyone, we're stuck with this eternal problem, a conflict between the two beliefs. We can only do our best to minimise the damage by finding the "balance" between the two.

New Year

"So this is the new year, and I don't feel any different."

The fact that it's already 2012 reminds me how much time has already elapsed, and there's no going back.
A new year. The end of the road remains unclear. My heart is dry, my mind weary, my soul wounded. Time to get myself together for the long road ahead.

2012. A year of change. A year to make loose ends meet. A year of restoration.

"Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends" John 15:13

To truly love is to love sacrificially - to love expecting nothing in return.

This is what I aspire to do.

Little Things

Too often we don't realise
what we have until it's gone
Too often we wait too late to say
"I'm sorry - I was wrong"

Sometimes it seems we hurt the ones
We hold dearest to our hearts
And we allow foolish things
To tear our lives apart

Far too many times we let
unimportant things into our minds
And then it's usually too late
To see what made us blind

So be sure that you let people know
How much they mean to you
Take time to say the words
Before your time is through

Be sure that you appreciate
Everything you've got
And be thankful for the
Little things in life that mean a lot

Anonymous

Little things do count after all

Wake up

My well has been dry for a long time now.
Yet I sought out shallow things to replace this emptiness.
It's been a long time since I've regained my senses.
I remember now - all I need is You.

Just came back from my youth camp and I feel refreshed. My eyes are open. My ears are more perceptive to more things now. Just realised a spiritual awaking was what I needed the most. And I got it :) Though I am in a state of confusion, I take comfort in the fact that all this is just a small phase in life - a peanut :) It is minute in comparison to many other greater things that will happen in life. For now, it is only the beginning.

Assumptions

Don't make assumptions. Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
Miguel Angel Ruiz

Most of our assumptions have outlived their uselessness.
Marshall McLuhan

Assumptions are the termites of relationships.
Henry Winkler

Who are you?

"When you are in the popular crowd you are more likely to be conformist, you are more likely to hide aspects of your identity in order to fit into the crowd, you are more likely to be involved in relational aggression, you are more likely to have goals of social dominance rather than forming actual true friendships. You are more likely to let other people pressure you into doing things. None of those things is admirable or useful as adults."

Read an article somewhere and I found this piece interesting. Speaking within the context of individuals in a social group context, it's clear that there are 3 types of individuals:
- The influential
- The influenced
- The neutral

Those who suppress others by using the social standards are the worst. They have a grotesque image of a dictator whose desire is to be at the top of the food chain. Yes. These influential people have a weak identity. Couple that with an immature, ignorant and shallow mind, and you get the aggressive leaders in the pack. Yes. Regardless whether they realise it or not, they are the ones responsible for enforcing the social/peer pressures that exist in society today. It is said: "Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch." That's the reality of peer pressure today.

These people are nothing other than weak-willed individuals who cannot fend for their own identity, thriving on the sense of belonging that they gain from enforcing their ideals on their 'friends'. And the friendships built around them? They're shallow. "...you are more likely to have goals of social dominance rather than forming actual true friendships." Can you really call them your "best-friends"? These are your so-called-friends who will lose touch with you when you no longer have any common grounds (school, uni, etc) with them. Of course, there are exceptions. However, you and I know the numbers are few. Very few.

In the case of those who are influenced, conformity only results in the lost of identity. Conforming to the expectations of the world only shows how weak your sense of identity is. Why does that imply your identity is weak?

"I want to fit in"
"I want to belong"
"I need to do... to fit in"

Do you feel that way? Are you afraid of being left out? Will you sacrifice part of your identity for the sake of belonging?

Isolate that kid from his/her group and you'll notice how weak that person's identity is. How that identity evaporates outside their social group. How shallow his/her friendships are.

What of the neutral then? They are those who have a strong sense of identity which does not falter and remains constant through time. They do not compel others to conform to their ways, rather, they respect other's individuality. They're also not affected by the social norms and often suffer persecution by the influential people and their underlings, the influenced, who blindly follow their dictators' whims. Despite so, these are the people who gain true and invaluable friendships. And believe it or not, they are often the more successful people in life, because they believe in their own virtues.

So who are you? Are you an ignorant dictator? Are you a conformist with a brittle identity? Are you an individual with individuality?

What is your identity?

17

Turned 17 yesterday and I felt no different. Didn't realise it was my birthday until someone wished me "happy bday" on Facebook. I wonder when I started to think less of my birthday? Okay, I LOVE celebrating other people's birthdays, but when it comes to my own, I don't really think much of it..

When I was a kid, I used to think that birthdays are EPIC and significant. That feeling of excitement died in me awhile back. Friends around me were fortunate to enjoy the companionship of their peers because their birthdays fall on any other regular day. Mine, however, occurs during the school holidays.. and I never really had a chance to partake such an experience.

Over the years, the boy who had feelings of excitement and joy in anticipation of his birthday saw nothing in that day anymore. Year after year, his expectations let him down. He'd expect to have something similar to what his friends had for their birthdays, but nothing ever happened. Soon, he'd decided not to expect anything anymore. It was simply too depressing.

Rather than coveting this "joy" others have, he would join in the excitement of others' birthday and disregard his own concerns. However, each time when a friend's birthday was celebrated, he would be reminded of what he never had. The boy couldn't take it any longer and as such, he sought a solution to remove such feelings. He would start to forget the significance of his own birthday.

A few years have passed since then, and his birthday had little meaning to him. Every year, on the 26th of November, he would regard the day like any other day of the year, with the exception of a cake after dinner to acknowledge the anniversary of his entrance to this world. And that was it.

This came to an abrupt halt a few years ago. A few of the boy's friends pleasantly surprised him by giving him a cute little gift. It was more than a month after his actual birthday and it was the first week of school. He was confused, but he generated a natural response. "Thank you", he said. Whilst he said that, deep in him, those old feelings started to surface once again. And at the corner of his face, one could see the faint smile he held at that moment.

Since then, the boy's perception on things have changed. He is no longer disheartened by such things and he accepts things the way they are. Whether he would receive that little piece of joy every now and then or not, he would still hold his head high.

This year, a group of silly, immature, funny, annoying, smart and nice people took me out for my birthday.
We started off eating lunch at some asian place, got soaked in the rain, crashed at a buffalo's place, watched some shows there and went home.

Okay, it's definitely not as eventful as any other day out, however, it made my day. It may not have meant much to those friends in M'sia from a few years ago and the ones in Melbourne now, but I really appreciate them for making my birthday something meaningful to me.

So to you guys out there, thank you :)

"If only..."

Often times I stop to ponder about things. I often ponder about very deep things that people tend to pass off as something too confusing, depressing, pessimistic, unsuitable for our age, unsuitable for our circumstances and etcetera. Little do people understand why I do continue to ponder about these things, even though they often are depressing.

Ever come across a situation where you wished "If only I had realised something sooner"?

Here's a modified example of what I pondered over.. when I was only 15.

Don't want to pop anyone's bubble out there, but here's something to think about. High school ends for those of you in M'sia in a few months time. High school ends for those of you in Melbourne in about a year.

After all this while, you've definitely made friends. Friends ranging from the "hi-bye" friends, normal friends, good friends and best friends. The thing is, after high school, everyone goes their own way and you'll won't be as close to them anymore.

One might say that it is possible to keep in touch via Facebook, Hotmail, MSN, meeting up and etc. To be honest, that statement does not prove false. I have been keeping in touch with some of my friends in M'sia. However, the numbers are few.

Realistically, the chances of you keeping in touch with your good friends are low. Only the best friends would put in the effort to keep in touch with you. Even so, some best friends wouldn't even do it.

This brings about 2 questions:
1. "Why won't they keep in touch with me?"
2. "Who would?"

1. Once you've all parted and started a new life in uni/further education, you'll make new friends. Your interests change. Your priorities change. And a whole lot of other things change. When you meet again, you will never be the same again and so will they. Of course there are exceptions e.g. when you become room-mates. But apart from them, what about everyone else you used to know?

2. The answer lies in the kind of friends you make. What kind of friends are there? There is a long list of them, but I'll just highlight the few of them that are applicable to us adolescents:
a. The kind that seeks for companionship based on the things that they commonly do together. e.g. There's always a group of people who commonly associate themselves with games. Most of the time, apart from games, they share nothing else. This kind of relationship is shallow. Once their games are removed, they have nothing much to relate to each other about.
b. The kind that seeks the relationship casually. Most of the time, they do so for assurance and a peace of heart that you're not alone i.e. They don't want to feel left out. They often only talk only about trivial things, joke around, hang out with friends and etc, with the mindset of simplicity. They never delve into the relationship to form closer relationships; they refrain from doing so. On a side note, these people are often manipulated by peer pressure.
c. The kind where you seek the relationship because he/she wants to genuinely get to know that person and develop a healthy, mutual friendship. They would do all the following activities with one another, but with a different mindset. Ups and downs would be faced together, advice would be given not to please the person but for the benefit of the other even though it's bad and etc.

Obviously, type c would be the only one to reciprocate the effort you put in to keep in touch. The first and second one would just find new companions to assure themselves.

Sadly, the number of people who are from type c are very few. This is because, nobody thinks carefully about the kinds relationships they should make in high school. Ultimately, those ignorant of these facts will realise that their high school years weren't as meaningful because they never developed such a friendship. So I pose a question to you all today: "Will any of your friends keep in touch with you after you've all parted? If so, who?"

Crunch the numbers. It's pessimistic. It's tragic. It's depressing. It's real. Reality bites. Less than 1% of the adolescent population have ever come to this realisation at an early stage to do something about it.. Would you make a difference?

Tick Tock. Tick Tock.

Ok, in anticipation to those who are confused by such a piece of writing, that was just a creative approach I used to address something. That "something" was merely the phenomenon where I realised how little time we have left on Earth, and how we spend it meaninglessly.

It begins with me asking myself "Have I lived a meaningful life?", and then I stop to remember my past to see where things have went wrong and what can I do to improve life now. After taking myself out of that deep thought, I made comparisons with life now and ultimately, I see hope.

LOL. Okay that was just one paragraph that summed up the whole post below, no? haha. Well, the reason I did that was to.... make the blog posts more interesting.. I guess? haha dunno if that worked..but yeah. Read some creative writing and I was somehow inspired to do some.. I guess I'll stave that off from now on.

Oh well. Anyway, to the other things that've happened in the past month. I've taken the Myer-Briggs Personality Test and I am a ESTJ or an ESFJ. So Shannen and Janie, you were partially right. Although that psych dude said I could be occasionally T and F at times according to the scenario.

And the Athletics Carnival took place last Friday, and it was epic!!! X3 well, for others really but the epicness sorta passed on to me. The high jumps were like awesome!! the best jumpers were crossdressers and one Navi' dude. lol. Avatar fan much. xD Anyway, those dudes made a freakin' 160cm++ jump. Apart from that, the carnival was similar to that of the Swimming Carnival. So yeah. Just loitered around pretty much. Played some cards and that was about it. Pics are on FB so yeah. The convenience surpasses that of here ^^

Ok. Bedtime. Toodles. Will post a more elaborate post next time..

Tick Tock.

My digital clock's colon blinked at me as time passes slowly.
Wait. Stop...
Okay, maybe that's an understatement.
Time is passing extremely quickly.
Even as I'm typing now, I cannot fully comprehend the situation.

In 24 hours,
I spend approximately 33.33% of it sleeping.
I spend approximately 25% of it in school.
I spend approximately 10% of it on studying at home.
I spend approximately 5-10% of it eating food.
I spend approximately 10% of my time doing chores.
I spend approximately 15% of my time doing whatever I like which is usually unfruitful for the most of me.
Out of that 15%, less than 5% of it is meaningful.

By following such a vague routine everyday, I've long ago lost track of my sense of time.
Days whizz past me quicker than ever.
Perhaps I'm getting older.
Perhaps I'm enjoying things now.
Perhaps I'm ignorant of these things.

What happened to those times where a second felt like an eternity?
I still see that 10 year old boy, wishing time would pass me by faster so that I may grow up.
Little did I realise that time had pressed the fast-forward button on me.
2x faster. 4x faster. 8x faster. 16x faster.
Had I not realised that things around me sped up like so, I would've wasted me life away, leaving me speechless at the time when the question was presented to me.

"Have I lived a meaningful life?"

I could only stare blankly at it.
Clueless.
Confused.
Disorientated.
Uncertain.
Anxious.
Afraid.

As I thought about it, sweat trickled down my cheekbone.
The drop hit the floor with a loud thud.
It was as if it caused a massive ripple in the clear waters of a still pond.
As that thud echoed around me, time re-winded it self and started replaying again.

Happy and sad times were revisited.
Laughter was shared.
Tears were shed.
Looking at those vivid episodes of my life, I couldn't help but give a bittersweet smile.
Then time pressed the fast-forward button.
This time however, I was able to grasp all those times which I carelessly discarded into the back of mind.
It was only then, did I realise the significance of those events that have occurred.
Regret filled my mind at my unawareness of life then.

The ripple in that pond slowly came to a halt and the waters were still once again.
The show came to an end when the most recent moments were played out.
The credits did not roll out.
There was no coda at the end of this piece of music.
I was left there in the quietude once again.
 
It was there that I managed to find the answer that I sought.
"There is more living than just being alive"
Deriving some hidden messages from this Latin proverb alone,
The gears in my head churned for a logical conclusion.
God knows how long it took me to answer this question.
But I finally found the answer.

I blinked as the clock beeped when it hit the hour.
I avert my eyes outside my window and to the sky.
The moon manifests itself in the horizon,
It's faint glow illuminated my hopes for the future as the past lay subtly in my shadows.
And in a very very long time, I started to smile as that glow gently filled the stratosphere.