Cold winter. Cold heart.

Holidays have started about a week ago now, and I've been doing the usual. Spending time with my loved ones, chilling with friends, work, doing some extra studies (a side course I picked up - a cert IV in business admin) and etc. Didn't like the busy holidays I have, but I suppose its more fruitful than doing nothing. Going to SA for family trip soon, so that's something to look forward to ^^

It's probably the 100th time already today, that these thoughts are going through my head. The hurt that goes unseen, I wonder if you see it? Probably not.

The stretch

It's a bit late, but I finally decided to join catch of the day, and what do you know, at that very moment, they had a massive sale and there were heaps of earphones and headphones that were going for more than 50% off :D I've never bought any audio products in my life, so I was initially quite hesitant to buy one. However, considering that my previous earphones died and that I've been using some crappy earphones (that I got as a freebie from uni open days) for 3 months now, I thought it was about time to get a somewhat slightly more normal quality earphones. I ultimately came down to 2 options, the Lady Gaga Heartbeats by Monster ($60) or The Stretch by Philips, O'Neil ($40). I never really liked or had headphones cause they are hard to store, so I was initially keen on the Lady Gaga Heartbeats. But after reading some reviews, I saw that the Heartbeats are somewhat entry level earphones for audiophiles but it's sound quality is subpar for its price. So I settled with the The Stretch instead which was cheaper :) I figured that if I were to get good earphones, I'd rather pay a little more to get something that I like that is good and worth its price, instead of jumping at the cheaper ones on sale, that may not be as good. So here we are with my very first pair of headphones :)

The bundle of joy I got from the postman

:)

Last day of semester one

Journeyed halfway through the year with much joy and pain. Exams are just around the corner, and I finally get some time to make up for lost ground. Can't wait for the holidays :)

"Still waiting, waiting... waiting for the world to change"

Just like that.. I'm still waiting for things to change...

Weekend

Week 8 of uni is almost over and I've managed to tick the following in my list.
- 2 mid semester tests
- Maths assignment
- Weekly chemistry lab report
- Catch up (mostly) with subjects that I'm behind in

A few more weeks of this first semester of uni is left, and apart from the bleakness of things, there are a few things that I do look forward to :)
- Building more circuitry
- Finishing off the last 3 lab and lab reports in the coming weeks
- Building a trebuchet

Apart from the brief update about what I have and yet to accomplish, here's a tiny update about the past week. On Sunday, I've had the pleasure of catching up with church friends over lunch at a Malaysian restaurant (it was pretty close to the real thing :P), before going off to bake a cake and a cookie cake to celebrate a church friend's birthday at Sofia's :) Took the opportunity on Anzac Day on Wednesday to watch The Avengers with my girlfriend since it was released that very day :) finally, after so many years of anticipation and waiting, it's finally here and I'm thoroughly content :3 After that we went to catch up with the Mount group over churros, chocolate and chocolate drinks at San Churro. Kinda felt tired from the movie so I think I was a bit quiet at that time, but nevertheless it was great to sit back and chill with the group :)

After 12pm tomorrow, I am free! For about 50 hours anyway. And then it's back to the same cycle of the drowning in my studies before the next weekend is here. But oh well, I'm getting used to it :)

For now, yay! As the weekend is here :)

Highlights of the month

- Starting uni life

- Realising that uni life isn't "THE life"

- Having the urge to kill those who told me how good uni life was (stares at arts and commerce kids)

- Feeling intimidated to restart my social life and meet new people

- Meeting new people and realising that the opportunities that lie ahead are limitless

- Meeting deadlines in uni

- Meeting up with old school friends from Malaysia

- Finding out that one of my old school friends has 2 of my subjects

- Falling behind in uni studies

- Catching up in uni studies

- Meeting up with the Mount Waverley group

- Keeping up my part time job amidst all of that

- Racking up my sleep debt

- Going out with my lovely girlfriend

- Nodding off in lectures when I thought I could pay attention with my eyes closed

- Playing in the church band and establishing the musical standard for the church

- Looking forward to the one week break

- Feeling refreshed whenever I see something like this:

Rye

In the event I should ever forget, here I am penning every detail that I can remember from the past 8 days of my life. Details that I never want to forget.

Sadly, I didn't bring my camera with me so it'll just be a long detailed report-style recount :) Perhaps I'll add photos after scouting them from the group members' fb photos.

We've planned it around September last year and though things were sketchy back then, it materialised into a fine trip. The location was Rye, the people amounted to 14 of us and we had a very homey house to stay in.

Day 1 (Sunday) - Gathering at the designated houses, we left in groups with some of our courteous parents who were willing to drive us to Rye. Upon arriving, we chilled, checked out the place, checked out the shops nearby, ate Subway for lunch, shopped for groceries and had BBQ for dinner. Also, Judith introduced us to this very amusing and fun game called Bang!. Whilst some of us were drinking, me and a few others watched the movie Limitless to pass the time :) 

Day 2 (Monday) - For some reason, PEOPLE WOKE UP AROUND FREAKIN 5-6AM D: and everyone kinda woke up due to the noise level in the living room. It was a good thing I suppose, since we got and early start. Went for a morning walk and Jess's iTouch became roadkill. The earphones died but we were surprised it survived with just a cracked screen. It was still functional :P Went to the beach which was literally 3 minutes away from the house and had fun :) since it was really hot and sunny, I bought a beach tent and we set that up :) the beach at Rye had shallow waters and the sand was really nice and fine, but the water was freezinggggg D: played board games like Taboo and Pictionary and some console games like Mario Kart and Brawl on Wii. Had Viet rice paper rolls that night for dinner, and it was absolutely fabulous :) kudos to Joey and her team :) Oh and we boiled the pipis that we caught earlier at the beach... which we later discovered on Thursday that it was illegal :/ ANYWAY, later that night we went to the beach and played with sparklers, where caf and co. presented us with a lovely sparkling show :) all I remember during that moment was the tall tower of light and Caf chanting "hum liki liki" in the background :P it never fails to put a smile on my face whenever I think of that. Back at the house, it was around this time when I noticed that Judith started making a little diary entry for the whole group :) 

Day 3 (Tuesday) - We went to Sorrento and checked out the shops. There was a really cool antique shop that kept us amused for like 30 mins. Went to the beach and waded around the waters for a bit. It had the water temperature was perfect BUT the there were heaps of shells everywhere, the sand was courser and there were more seaweeds :/ Had several group shots there and we hung around the pier :) so Jess was educating me about how the vanilla slice originated from Sorrento and that we should drop by for a visit, but we were too late and the cafe was closed :( oh well, we decided to drop by the next time we were there anyway :) Back at the house, we had Japanese curry and miso soup for dinner. Kudos to Wilson and co. for cooking that ^^ went stargazing at the beach after dinner and people were singing and chatting loudly LOL. As an escape, I took a walk with Eddy along the beach and was amused with his camera :3

Day 4 (Wednesday) - As we feared that we'd end up doing nothing, since Monday, we planned to go to Portsea on the sunniest day :) and we did. We woke up earlier than usual to catch a bus there, and the place was lovely with nice sand but slightly deeper waters. IT WAS COLD as well D: by that day we kinda gave up on finding the perfect beach :P but oh well. It was good :) a few of us bought a bucket, made an awesome turtle with sand, and named it Battle Jo :P it was epic. Then Jess, Wilson and Caf buried me and made me look like some hindu god with 6 arms.. rofl. Had fish and chips for lunch and that wasn't enough lol. Some of us headed back to the house whilst the rest of us went to Sorrento for a second time :) whilst the others headed down to the beach, Jess took me to the vanilla slice place and it was pretty good :) we ordered one slice but we got another on the house :D I couldn't finish it though so we took it away with the full intention of sharing it with the others, but as we got the fish and chips for them as well, we kinda left it at the counter of the fish and chips store ==" oh well, at least we did a good deed by giving free food to the fish and chips shop :P we later joined the rest at the beach and swam around for a bit. Went back to the house and Joey's team prepared us some roast :) whilst the others played drinking games and stuff, I accompanied those of us who abstained.

Day 5 (Thursday) - It was a relatively chill day where some of us stayed at the house whilst the others went to Frankston to roam and play pool and stuff. For those of us who stayed back, we chilled at home watching shows and console gaming. Went to the beach with Jess, Judith, Heiman and Chooi-ee in the arvo and that's when some dude came up to us and lectured us about how collecting pipis were illegal ._. we returned to the house to prepare dinner - Mexican food :) we had nachos, burritos and potato salad :P it was a slight overkill and we made a little too much :3 The rest of us watched The Sound of Music and to our delight we had a wonderful male vocalist in our midst ;) you know who you are!! :P

Day 6 (Friday) - We went to Frankston to see this sand sculpture exhibit. It was pretty darn cool since the art was really fine and detailed. Travelling there by bus took us over an hour so it was pretty late when we got back. Wilson's group prepared pasta for us that night and we watched this epic tv series called Sherlock :)  after that, some of us continue watching movies, having dnm sessions on the trampoline outside, whilst me, Jess, Joey and Heiman went stargazing at the beach. We kinda gave Joey and Heiman their space for obvious reasons haha and they also wanted to stay till sunrise :P so me and Jess ended up spotting shootings stars and we managed to see about 5-6 stars :) I never once believed that I'd ever come across one, yet alone 5-6 but heck it was amazing :) some dim ones lasted for half a second whilst a couple of them were really bright and lasted over a second.

Day 7 (Saturday) - It was the last full day we had and we decided to spend it at Rye :) some of us went to the $2 shop to get stuff whilst the rest of us went to the beach first. We spent time collecting seashells, playing around, skipping rocks, looking for warm spots in the sea and etc. Oh, I think Eddy and co. found a starfish which was cool but they returned it to the sea after :/ it was my group's turn to prepare dinner again so we made sushi :D it was a massive sushi tower and it was yum :) we also finished the remaining miso paste by making miso soup for supper. Some of us watched the 2 Broke Girls whilst me, Wyn, Sannie, Jess, Eddie and Damo went stargazing after we inspired them about how we saw shooting stars the day before :P sadly, it was cloudy and overcast so we didn't see any shooting stars. Damo and Ed went for a walk to the pier whilst the rest of us stayed behind waiting for the skies to clear up. The skies did slowly clear up and we managed to see some stars nevertheless :) upon going back, I hit the sack earlier than the rest only to be woken up by others (namely Selina and Ed) who crashed the room showing their creepy eyeliner make up, which was pretty cool upon closer inspection.

Day 8 (Sunday) - We woke up early to pack, clean and tidy the place up. Felt sad as we packed and left the place. As some of our parents were going to come pick us up a few of us stayed behind with some luggage, whilst the rest took public transport home i.e. me, Damo, Sannie, Joey, Hei, Ho, Jess, Chooi-ee and Selina. Jammed on the guitars on the way back in the train and my lovely friends were so generous when we busked :P managed to get just about 55 cents for a soft serve ice cream ^^ but the money was returned haha.

Well, apart from the mass text above, I must say the past 8 days have been amazing. I enjoyed every moment spent with everyone. Be it happy, sad, crazy or sentimental, I will thoroughly miss it. The schoolies trip was fun and also a rather educational one, where we got to learn more about each other through living together. It was amazing to watch how we could function as a large family for so many days, cleaning and cooking, organising activities to do to keep us busy and having daily family dinners every night. It was the most homey and warm experience I've ever felt :) you guys have made this whole trip a wonderful experience. For what seems like just an ordinary trip, to me it was the most apt closure to the high school life we all enjoyed over the years. Funny how we thought VCE was a big step but what lies ahead of us is bigger. Our uni life will be the next step that we will take and starting afresh, each of us will eventually go our own way. Though this happens, I hope and wish with all my heart - though it may seem silly of me to say this - that we will remain as close as ever as a family no matter how much time may pass. You guys are invaluable to me and the moments that we have shared and enjoyed together I shall forever remember. I love you all and I will deeply miss all of you and the fun and carefree moments that we used to have. Do keep in touch and I wish you all the best and God bless you all in the many years ahead of us :)

Days that felt like seconds.

Just came back from Malaysia 2 days ago and it was good trip like any other :) mass shopped for clothes for uni and caught up with most of my friends :) I'm glad we're still as close as before and that we still do keep in touch. The food was awesome and the weather was fairly good this time around. In the duration of one month, I visited Singapore, Hong Kong and Bali as well :D they were great trips, although I doubt I'll be going back to Singapore anymore if Hong Kong was a choice :P Bali was tranquil as usual, however since it was a family trip where a total of 18 of us went, it was somewhat more tiring than the previous trips ._. oh well. I still had fun playing with all my cuzzies who are in primary school :) That one month zipped past me so quickly before I knew it.

So here I am back since the 1st of Feb, and I've been busy since. My girlfriend kept me busy for 2 days and I went for Wynne's birthday lunch today :) it was great to catch up and reconnect again after such a long period :D sometime during the party, I confirmed that I managed to get into the course that I wanted to i.e. a single degree in Engineering instead of a double degree in Engineering & Science. There were many complications before when I applied but I worked it out eventually :)

In the coming months, I'll be occupied with the following:

Spiritual walk. University and work. Family and friends. Relationship.

It doesn't seem like much, but there's so much to do, but I'll make the most of the limited time I have, do what needs to be done and soldier on like always.

New Year

"So this is the new year, and I don't feel any different."

The fact that it's already 2012 reminds me how much time has already elapsed, and there's no going back.
A new year. The end of the road remains unclear. My heart is dry, my mind weary, my soul wounded. Time to get myself together for the long road ahead.

2012. A year of change. A year to make loose ends meet. A year of restoration.

Restart.

It's almost three years now. This vivid landscape that I've come to adapt to. Despite the temperamental weather which is either depressing or uplifting, despite the differences in culture which has its good and bad, I have come to love this place.

Three years ago, during that dark night on that taxiing plane, I came to realise how much everyone meant to me back at my first home as I floated away into the horizon. Looking out that cold glass window into the dark and gloomy sky only reflected my heart's uncertainty and hopelessness in the future.

Much to my pleasant surprise, things went well - a rough start getting used to the new environment perhaps, but over the years many close bonds were formed and many fond memories were made over this time. The moments we shared were fun and boring, happy and sad, smart and stupid, epic and ... anticlimactic, dnm and trivial and so much more. All these years spent with all of you were fantastic and I enjoyed every bit of it.

Walking out those doors for the last time today as a high school student suddenly struck me so hard, because the thought of "this is it" comes to mind. Like some out there, I have come to accept the end of my adolescent days and I readied myself for the new beginning in the distant future. But I couldn't ready myself for the feelings of sadness and nostalgia that would overwhelm me on the very day that school ended forever.

Like three years ago, another parting happened today. Like three years ago, I cannot fully fathom my emotions. All I know is that I'm happy that school is over, yet sad that school is over. Happy that I've accomplished an achievement in life, sad that there I'll no longer have those moments with my friends anymore. Happy that I'm no longer subject to the restrictions of a student, sad that I'm no longer able to enjoy the carefree life of a student.

Though I'm already reminiscing the long and incredible journey we all had together, I've learnt to look upon life in a brighter light, knowing that God has a great plan for all of us. Today is an end to a certain chapter in my life, but I'm thankful for Him for blessing me with such precious memories to keep forever.

Thank you, MWSC Class of 2011 for such amazing memories, ones that I'll always look back to with a smile :)

Transatlanticism

I need you so much closer

Bittersweet

Only 3 months and a bit left. We can do this.

Little Things

Too often we don't realise
what we have until it's gone
Too often we wait too late to say
"I'm sorry - I was wrong"

Sometimes it seems we hurt the ones
We hold dearest to our hearts
And we allow foolish things
To tear our lives apart

Far too many times we let
unimportant things into our minds
And then it's usually too late
To see what made us blind

So be sure that you let people know
How much they mean to you
Take time to say the words
Before your time is through

Be sure that you appreciate
Everything you've got
And be thankful for the
Little things in life that mean a lot

Anonymous

Little things do count after all

Wake up

My well has been dry for a long time now.
Yet I sought out shallow things to replace this emptiness.
It's been a long time since I've regained my senses.
I remember now - all I need is You.

Just came back from my youth camp and I feel refreshed. My eyes are open. My ears are more perceptive to more things now. Just realised a spiritual awaking was what I needed the most. And I got it :) Though I am in a state of confusion, I take comfort in the fact that all this is just a small phase in life - a peanut :) It is minute in comparison to many other greater things that will happen in life. For now, it is only the beginning.

Re:Re:

You were with me when I needed somebody. Even if it was just a second, you helped me drop my facade, allowing me to release those pent up feelings.
Also, I haven't had a real laugh in awhile. You truly made my day :)
To that "fireman" out there, thank you. I guess that makes us even now, eh? :)

Sparkling lights

Along with the end of the strenuous exams, we year 12's were able to enjoy ourselves in our school formal at The International. The place was pretty fancy but the food was kinda subpar to what we expect from $70. Oh well. The decent music, dancing and great time with friends made the time awesome. On the way out, I saw someone carrying out a massive tower of balloons with a star on the top. So that gave me some inspiration and we in the end, we ninja-ed the "2011" balloons from the formal ;D hahaha

Took the Hummer back after the formal and it was pretty darn cool :P it had EPIC sub-woofers, epic flashing lights and zomg the smoke machine was LEGEN-wait for it-DARY :D haha. Pretty good 1 hour trip to the city and back to Wynne's place for the after-party.

Got a pretty cool slideshow of caf's photos and we had a photo-shoot in our formal attire before watching a movie. As expected, a few people KO-ed during the movie due to fatigue but I somehow managed to pull through :P till 5.30 anyway. lol.

Woke up at 8am-ish to prepare breakfast. Yay for pancakes. Next time if pancakes are involved, we're getting pre-mixed ones lol. Cooked shin ramyun and Wynne's parents fried some rice for us (Asian food ftw!) and it was aweshome :3

The remaining of us just rolled around, went to sleep and helped Wynne with a puzzle. lol. Overall, the time spent with everyone was epic :)

^^

Finally bought my new acoustic guitar ;)

Takamine EG460SC

17

Turned 17 yesterday and I felt no different. Didn't realise it was my birthday until someone wished me "happy bday" on Facebook. I wonder when I started to think less of my birthday? Okay, I LOVE celebrating other people's birthdays, but when it comes to my own, I don't really think much of it..

When I was a kid, I used to think that birthdays are EPIC and significant. That feeling of excitement died in me awhile back. Friends around me were fortunate to enjoy the companionship of their peers because their birthdays fall on any other regular day. Mine, however, occurs during the school holidays.. and I never really had a chance to partake such an experience.

Over the years, the boy who had feelings of excitement and joy in anticipation of his birthday saw nothing in that day anymore. Year after year, his expectations let him down. He'd expect to have something similar to what his friends had for their birthdays, but nothing ever happened. Soon, he'd decided not to expect anything anymore. It was simply too depressing.

Rather than coveting this "joy" others have, he would join in the excitement of others' birthday and disregard his own concerns. However, each time when a friend's birthday was celebrated, he would be reminded of what he never had. The boy couldn't take it any longer and as such, he sought a solution to remove such feelings. He would start to forget the significance of his own birthday.

A few years have passed since then, and his birthday had little meaning to him. Every year, on the 26th of November, he would regard the day like any other day of the year, with the exception of a cake after dinner to acknowledge the anniversary of his entrance to this world. And that was it.

This came to an abrupt halt a few years ago. A few of the boy's friends pleasantly surprised him by giving him a cute little gift. It was more than a month after his actual birthday and it was the first week of school. He was confused, but he generated a natural response. "Thank you", he said. Whilst he said that, deep in him, those old feelings started to surface once again. And at the corner of his face, one could see the faint smile he held at that moment.

Since then, the boy's perception on things have changed. He is no longer disheartened by such things and he accepts things the way they are. Whether he would receive that little piece of joy every now and then or not, he would still hold his head high.

This year, a group of silly, immature, funny, annoying, smart and nice people took me out for my birthday.
We started off eating lunch at some asian place, got soaked in the rain, crashed at a buffalo's place, watched some shows there and went home.

Okay, it's definitely not as eventful as any other day out, however, it made my day. It may not have meant much to those friends in M'sia from a few years ago and the ones in Melbourne now, but I really appreciate them for making my birthday something meaningful to me.

So to you guys out there, thank you :)

Blues

Exams ended for about 2 weeks now.
Caught up on anime, played tennis, watched some movies, played guitar, killed the guitar, went out, etc. Been there, done that. The things I've done weren't really productive, but heck, they were fun ;) Unfortunately, I have this thing within me that makes me feel bad for doing nothing constructive over the last 2 weeks ==" To make me feel better about myself, I should probably find more productive things to do. As such I've made a small to-do list. Things to do over the next few days:
- Fix the guitar
- Generate shopping list
- Pack for M'sia
- Update blog (done! :P)
- Finish ice cream before leaving 
- .... do holiday homework? (eww)